Nothing delights me more than finding sex in the most unusual places, particularly when I least expect it. And the last place I expected to find it was on my own doorstep. I mean, I usually have to go out looking for it as it rarely comes looking for me. Last year was something of an exception, however. I'm a naturalist and have a small farmhouse in the Lake District on the Scottish border. It's five miles from the nearest village and completely off the beaten track, so I very rarely get any visitors, animal or human. Occasionally an intrepid squirrel will sit on my window sill, waiting for breakfast, but other than that I get few disturbances. One evening last autumn I heard the most god awful noise of motor bikes roaring down my country lane to the little lake at the bottom of the hill. What looked like three Darth Vaders were going for a swim. You can't see my cottage from the road as it's hidden by trees, but I can see everything from my bedroom window. I have a pair of strong field glasses which I usually reserve for birds, but I was curious to see what these youths looked like under their red and black helmets and leather gear. It was already late September, but as it had been a very hot day, my three visitors were definitely overdressed. The whole scene was surreal. They looked like extra-terrestrials. Watching them take off their helmets was already a kind of unveiling ceremony and I was eager to see if they were human underneath. It was rather like watching The Full Monty without music.

Living by myself as I do, I can get as horny as hell on occasions and, apart from the butcher's boy who services me once or twice a month, I don't get much sexual titillation. Each boy was entirely different, but I liked all three of them and started thinking of devious ways to invite them into my life. As they stripped off their jackets and stuff, I was able to get a better idea of their potential. They were all three very good looking. One was blond and a touch too slight of build for my taste, but the other two had great bodies. The second guy had tattoos everywhere and a few piercings. The third was tall and muscular. As they stripped off their briefs, I noticed both had great dicks and dazzling buttocks, but they were in the water and horsing around with the blond guy before I could get a really good look at them. They were intent on removing his underwear and he, for some reason, was intent on keeping it on. He looked like a blushing rose between two horny thorns. I thought it was time for me to intervene. I decided to put on a show myself and appear in my kilt. Two journalists had been down from Edinburgh to interview me earlier, and I was still dressed in all my Scottish regalia. I had no idea what I was going to say to my unexpected visitors until I was almost on top of them. Seeing them at close quarters was far better than through field glasses. I introduced myself and told them to carry on with their swim.

I informed them I swam there every evening myself, and if they had no objections, I would join them. Then I stripped down to the buff and dived in. I'm sure it did not escape their notice that I had nothing under my kilt, and I hoped they had also not missed the fact that I had a more than average size dick and a good, strong body. I do a lot of walking and running as well as swimming every day, and although I must have been twelve years older than the youngest one, I did not pale in comparison, especially in the dick department. I invited them back for a drink. I thought with some good Scottish whisky inside them and a bit of luck, we might all end up in bed together. I'd seen their credentials and they'd seen mine, so why stand on ceremony? Unfortunately, the whisky had quite the opposite effect on them and made them drowsy. I told them they could bunk down in the barn as long as they didn't disturb the cat and gave them some pillows and blankets.

The sight of their departing butts made me horny. I was lying stretched out, dick in hand, when I heard scuffling on the stairs. I put my dick in place and looked to see who was there. It was the blond one. He was wearing snow white briefs and looked very cute. He was very sorry, but he was allergic to cats, and was there somewhere else he could sleep? I was tempted to say In here with me, but decided against it. I told him there was a mattress in the loft and the cat never went there. He thanked me and asked me if he could have a shower. I said of course, and showed him where it was. I didn't have a bathroom, just a shower cubicle at the back of my bedroom. It didn't offer much privacy so I made a point of turning my back. I thought his shyness was due to him having a weenie. I was soon to discover that he was extremely well endowed.

He let out a shout under the shower, and said he wasn't getting enough hot water. As I stood behind him and showed him how to manipulate the dial, my dick brushed his bare butt. He didn't jump out of his skin and run as I half expected him to, but instead put his hand inside my shorts. I said it will probably be easier if we have a shower together. He turned round and I saw an eagle rising before me. His dick was surprisingly large, not enormous, but very appetizing indeed. I forgot all about him not being the best of the bunch and began to dig in. The butcher's boy hadn't been by recently, and I was hungry for meat. He willingly let me feed on him, and I was just getting to the cream dessert when he put his hand on my head and stopped me.

"My turn," he said. He knelt across me and bent over my dick, pursing his lips as if he were undecided whether to spit or suck. This made my thirsty dick tingle with anticipation. It felt for all the world like a rose waiting for the first drops of rain after a long period of drought. Then he wrapped his lips around it as if it were a calypso ice lolly and soon had me melting in his mouth. He did this several times and almost sucked me dry in the process. It felt so good.

His balls were dangling temptingly in front of me, so I cradled them for an instant and then squeezed. He must have liked it as he sucked me even harder and nearly made my balls ignite. For my part, I wedged my entire tongue in his butt, and he let out something like a shrill meow. I began to wonder if he was really allergic to cats or had just been after my dick all the time. I freed myself from his chomping jowls and thrust my nicely lubricated member into his shuddering shaft. It was tight, but very, very receptive, and I discovered that his mouth had only been a foretaste of things to come. He had even more suction in his horny little ass and agitated his butt until my dick felt like it was being torn out by the roots. From what I'd seen earlier, I didn't think he had it in him to assume the dominant role. I thought it'd be rather like expecting a rabbit to fuck a stoat. But once he got some dick inside him, both orally and anally, he lost all his shyness and turned into a sexual banshee. I decided to get my dick out of there before he chomped the hell out of it and was about to jerk off when he was up my ass before you could say lubricant. He was so wild I had to hold on to the head of the bed. My butt wasn't used to his dimensions but it soon adapted itself and opened its mouth for more. He might have looked thin, but all his muscle was in his dick, and by now I had decided that that was a good place for it to be. My teeth began to chatter. Not because I was cold but because that's the effect he had on me. It was like having a high speed conveyor belt up your butt. I held on to the headboard and tried to enjoy the ride, but I was biting the pillow and gasping for air at the same time. Fortunately, he flipped me over before I died of suffocation. But just as I was getting by breath back, he whipped my legs into the air and entered me like an express train. He sure had a lot of power behind his engine for one so thin of frame, and he didn't tire easily either. He fairly made me whistle. Then just when I'd begun to think that neither my bed or I could take any more I finally felt fireworks going off in my butt as he exploded inside me and we ground to a stop. My butt felt like it had been impaled by a javelin. I decided that next time I saw a rose I'd remember to watch out for thorns.

When I woke up late next morning, my three visitors had left. I went into the barn to see what state it was in but everything was fine and the cat was sitting on a neat pile of blankets. There was a note thanking me for the whisky and the hospitality. At the bottom was a phone number and two words in different handwriting, ' Call Simon.' I wondered which one he was. Curiosity got the better of me so I called. He was the dark one with promising credentials and all the tattoos. He wanted a job. Maybe I had something suitable to offer him? I told him to come straight round. I heard the roar of his motor bike around four o'clock. He was still in his leather gear so I gave him a pair of my shorts and watched him change.

As he did so, he told me that they'd all three run out of money, and the camping site was holding his stuff until he paid. I told him we could go round and pick it up later. I'd settle the bill, and he could work the debt off by helping me prune the trees and tidy up the garden. He set to work at once, and I enjoyed looking at his body while he did so. He was aware of my interest and took off his T-shirt so I could get a better look at his tattoos. But what really fascinated me were his piercings, and above all, where he had them. He saw me looking at the rings in his nipples and said, ' I'll let you get a good look at them later.' What exactly he meant by that I couldn't wait to find out. I said we'd better have a shower and then go pick up your things. I took him upstairs. He took off my shorts and handed them back to me. He looked at me provocatively and said 'You can sniff them tonight and think of me,' and started to get under the shower.

"I'd rather sniff you,' I said boldly.

To which he parried, "Be my guest." He put his hands behind his head and revealed two hairy armpits. I nuzzled and licked them, and drank the sweat from them.

"That feels good," he said. "Why don't you try a little more to the left? If you pinch my nipples it turns me on." I tweaked one of them, and he groaned. I tweaked it harder. His tongue shot out and stabbed me in the mouth. He had some kind of stud on it. He kissed me as I've never been kissed before. Slow and luscious at first and then choking and ferocious. My head began to swim with new sensations. I felt my lips and calf muscles tremble. I started to work on his dick. His tongue fuck had given me an appetite for something bigger and harder. I began to lube him up but my hand stopped at the base of his cock. He was wearing a ring down there. Surely he didn't intend to fuck me with that on. My unspoken question was quickly answered. He rolled his tongue round the inside of my ear and said, ' I want you always to remember this moment. I can send you to heaven and back again if you like. You just have to give me the word.' I tightened my grip on his dick.

"I've already left," I said.

He worked his way into me and began to give me the butt fuck of all butt fucks. As soon as I was in orbit, he inserted his dick to the hilt, and I felt the ring vibrate against my anal entrance, stimulating me in a way I'd never have thought possible and making my butt feel like a clitoris. I opened myself completely to him. It's the first time I've felt so totally possessed. I was on the edge of ecstasy and just as I thought I was going to float there forevermore he grasped my dick with his ringed hand and we hit heaven together. I lay there with him inside me and felt the peace that comes to a drowning man. Presently he got up to shower and I admired his neat butt. Two down one to go, I thought, remembering the third hunk with the great body and ass. Hopefully he'd be knocking at my door soon. I smiled and wondered what he'd have in store for me.