I'm a freelance tv script writer living in Italy and as such find myself doing all kinds of other jobs to make ends meet. Anything from being a tourist guide to teaching English. Last April I was working on a translation of an Italian documentary about archaeology. It was full of technical terms I had no idea how to translate and I was feeling angry with the guy who'd written it. To make matters worse, it was hellish hot and my shower wasn't working properly. I needed a plumber fast and the ones I rang were either busy or seemed to be booked up till August so in desperation I dug out one of those cards people leave in your mailbox. The guy who answered sounded Rumanian or something but was ready to come whenever I wanted. 'Now,' I said and immediately regretted it. I was asking a maybe not so perfect stranger to my home. But I needed a shower badly and maybe he'd turn out to be as attractive as his voice. His throaty accent made me horny and reminded me that my dick was in need of servicing too.

I went back to my translation but couldn't concentrate so I logged onto an erotic website and came up with some hot number called Kurt Morgan. Besides a really fabulous face, he had firm earthy ass cheeks like over-large tulip bulbs and a really promising little crocus bursting into blossom in front. I immediately forgot about my translation. And the plumber. The bell rang as I was in mid jerk-off. I hastily replaced my erect dick in my cotton pants and answered the door, Kurt Morgan's formidable ass still filling my mind and my monitor. A short stocky guy in blue denims stood waiting outside. For a moment, I couldn't think who the hell he could be and then I saw his toolbox. Fortunately, I was carrying a towel (for obvious reasons) and managed to throw it over the computer screen as I accompanied him to the bathroom. I don't think I was quite quick enough but he was pretty deadpan and didn't say anything. I showed him to the shower and left him to it. Then I went back to my pc and to the translation, promising myself - and Kurt Morgan -- that I'd pick up where we'd left off after the plumber had gone. He'd turned out to be a great disappointment. Definitely an also-ran. Looked like a chubbier version of Kenneth Branagh. If you remember him.

It didn't take him long to fix the shower and he asked me to come and inspect it. I was getting itchy for Kurt so was glad to hear he had already finished. When I entered the bathroom I had absolutely no thought in my head of making out with this guy. I mean he didn't attract me in the slightest. But there's something strangely intimate and exciting about being inside a shower with a man you don't know. Even if you are both fully clothed. There was definitely a hint of animal sensuality in the air and more than a hint of manly odour too. And that was not the only hint I got. Our hips and butts collided a considerable bit as he was showing me what he'd done and I got more than a hot hint or two of what he had stored away for me in his jeans even though they were as thick as his accent.

"Maybe you better try before I leave," he said.

"Get undress," he added, undoing my shirt buttons in case I hadn't understood.

"Just to make sure everything work finely."

Something in his voice made my dick tingle in spite of myself. It was a strange thing for a plumber to say and an even stranger way to behave. Maybe it was a problem of language and he believed in actions being louder than words. Or what he really wanted to say got lost in translation. Or maybe he'd got an eyeful of Kurt Morgan and wanted to see me naked. I was so horny by now anyway and the thought of stripping in front of somebody I'd only just met kind of turned me on. And how.

"Ok," I said as if his proposal (or proposition) was the most natural thing in the world.

He regulated the heat of the shower with his powerful fist and I stepped out of my clothes and into the shower booth feeling like the proverbial lamb going to the slaughter. He hand-showered me as if he was washing a baby and that turned me on even further. I couldn't believe what was happening and what I was letting him do. I began to lather up half-hoping he'd do that for me too. He did. He took the soap from my unsteady hands and started on my dick and balls.

What can I say? He soon had me swooning with the fervent thrill I got from his firm fist. His palms were rough and felt like pumice stone on my hardening dick. I didn't even know or like the guy and here he was doing all these wonderful things to me. Massaging under my scrotum and digging his soapy fingers into my butt slot and getting wet and soapy himself in the process. He made me feel so hot and horny I wanted him in there with me. Preferably naked. I let him explore my body and turn me on a bit more and then said, "It seems to be working just fine. Why don't you join me?"

Until he'd removed his plumber's uniform and revealed his humongous dick I didn't know what had come over me or what on earth had possessed me to suggest such an outrageous thing but those little voices you sometimes hear at the back of your head or at the tip of your dick must have told me something nice was coming my way. And I was right. Stripped of his clothes he didn't look chubby at all. In fact his body seemed to be carved out of stone. He was all man and all muscle.

He'd obviously been doing a lot of outside construction work as he was brown as a berry except for the part from the waist to halfway down his thighs. That was alabaster white and smooth so even when he was naked he seemed to be wearing long white boxer shorts. His humongous dick stood out against all this whiteness and smoothness like a burgeoning bas-relief. The contrast was mind blowing. I almost gulped at my first sight of it and was very soon gulping, hiccuping and groaning at the feel of it too as he wedged it inside me. No time was wasted on words and there was no time to prepare my ass for the assault either. He was under the shower and in me before I could say condom or lube.

I still don't know how I managed to anally swallow all that meat but when I eventually did it felt like I was being fist-fucked. With a little help from his foraging fingers soaked in pre-cum, a lot of soap and water, and a deep seated desire I'd always had to be possessed by a dick such as his, I opened up like a sluice gate to let him in. The combined forces of his fast fist as he jerked me off and the steady chugging of his dick as it proceeded to plumb my depths, soon made it abundantly clear to me that he was a dab hand at fixing tubes and filling pipes.

I'm pretty talented in my own way too and have quite a reputation for being clever with words but you'd never have known it from the surprisingly limited and repetitive stream of oh shits and fucks and yeahs I was letting out as he pounded and pummelled me and sent me into a throaty orgasm.

For his part he seemed to be taking an intensive course in deep breathing and grunting which turned me on a whole bunch more and had me wondering if he was ever going to finish. Not that I wanted him to. He kept it up (and up me) for what seemed an eternity. Soon he was tearing away at my ass like a Doberman devouring a piece of prime steak. As he ground my ass to pulp I was a mass of horny sensations. His hot breath caressed my shoulders and then seemed to vaporise and mingle with the sweat pouring from his heaving chest as he humped me. I could feel it slowly trickling down my back to form a pool in the pubic bush which was scraping the bottom of my battered butt. Just when I was beginning to think I couldn't take one more second - or inch - of it any more without dissolving into vapour myself, he began to slow down.

But it was a false alarm. He was only gathering breath before he gathered momentum.

Temporarily lulled by this unexpected calm before an impending sexual storm, I was spurred into action again as he bit on my shoulders and slammed himself into me with more force than ever and had me literally climbing the shower wall. Or maybe 'slithering' would be a more appropriate word for after he'd slowed down he plowed into my newly stretched ass with so much force that I was jolted forward and slid deliriously up and down the slithery bathroom tiles as I covered them with my cum. He made noises that would have done a raging bull proud and we came to a stop.

We collapsed on the shower mat in a soggy silent heap and let the water just run over us. As I lay there, my mind and my ass still full of him, I began to reflect on the idiosyncrasies of life. One might almost call them the 'idiot-syncrasies' of life. Why on earth, I asked myself do we tend to mind-set our libidos by dreaming of stereotyped studs such as Kurt Morgan when all the time it's not a good looking face we need but a really good 'plumbing job'. Less than an hour ago I'd been drooling over hot shots of a far-out, far-off guy on the other side of the Atlantic ocean and now here I was strangely happy and content in my own home having just had oceans of hot ooze shot up my English love channel by a. hands-on Rumanian whose name I didn't even know yet.

I offered him a beer and he left after shaking my hand formally. 'My name is Milo,' he said as if we were just being introduced. Yet another of life's strange idiosyncrasies. Of course by then I was ready for him to shake the fuck out of my dick again but he seemed to have another appointment. I couldn't help wondering whether it was another plumbing job and if he'd give such good service.

I tried to get back to my translation but had completely lost my powers of concentration. I couldn't work up much enthusiasm for Kurt Morgan either so I went to bed early. I thought I was woken up by the alarm clock but it turned out to be the door bell. He was standing there sheepishly in what seemed to be his best Sunday suit. 'I come to see if shower is still working finely,' he said smiling.

'Come to bed,' I said to him.

It felt so good being under the covers with him. Only a few hours had gone by but I couldn't wait to feel his Rumanian 'tugboat' chugging up my English channel once again. When I felt his hard body and huge cock beside me I rubbed myself up against him like a contented cat between a rock and a soft spot. I was ready for another four-letter-word fuck session. But he was surprisingly loquacious.

'I want to kiss you,' he said. 'I want to kiss your mouth, your dick, your asshole.'

'Kiss me with your dick,' I said.

I waited in the dark to see what fate had in store for me. First I felt his lips meet mine. They were full moist and fleshy as you might expect in someone with such a full moist and fleshy dick. Then I felt his tongue enter my mouth like a sinuous snake preparing its nest. It sought out all the nooks and crannies that no tongue had ever explored before and tongue fucked me to perfection. I began to slather at the mouth and dick simultaneously.

As if he could read my mind he slid his tongue down the front of me, paused a second to lick the sweat from the well of my navel, and started lapping at the tip of my dick like a cat lapping at a saucer of milk. Or in my case cream. First he licked the whole length of my dick and then pursed his lips and sipped and sucked the drops of pre-cum seeping from my piss slit. Nobody had ever done such a wild thing to me before and I surrendered to the absolute pleasure of it. The sound and feel of his mouth slurping on my dripping dick in the darkness made my toes curl and my dick throb like an outboard motor. He had more suction in that plumber's mouth of his than you'd even expect from a suction pump. Shit. I nearly blew a gasket. It's just as well he was a plumber.

My body began to jerk involuntarily and I begged him to stop. I was so near to coming. But he didn't. So wrapping my legs around his neck I pulled him closer to me and exploded in his mouth yelling fuck, yeah, fuck with all my might and half strangled him in the process. He gulped down most of my cum and spat the rest back at me. Before I had time to protest he'd lifted my ass almost ceiling high so as to get his hot tongue halfway up my love crack tantalising the hard knob of my prostrate with the tip of his tongue. It drove me absolutely apeshit and I snorted and snuffled like a pig digging for truffles although to all intents and purposes that's exactly what he was doing. I was almost delirious with pleasure by now and couldn't wait to feel his huge hot dick slamming the fuck out of my guts again. 'Fuck me, you shit,' I cried. 'Fuck me. Fuck the fucking ass off me!'

Never in all my twenty-seven years had I been more explicit or explicative.

My words had the desired effect. In a flash his tongue was out and his flesh was in. He bent my legs right back until my knees almost met my shoulders and my dick was almost touching my chin. My butt cheeks opened like the San Andreas fault ready to swallow a stream of molten lava but instead received a long, hard billiard pole that seemed determined to sweep the board as it played pool with my pucker.

'Fuck,' I screamed like one demented and feeling as if I was being split in two.

'Fuck. Holy shit. Fuck.'

It was a drier run than the one in the shower and it hurt and it burned but God did it feel good.

'Fuck me, fuck me harder,' I growled as I felt his dick swell inside me. 'Fuck me you fucker.'

I began working my butt up and down on his 'pool pole' tightening my ass cheeks and trying to jerk him off right down to the nuts. He responded by making longer, stronger thrusts and I found myself being impaled on him harder and deeper every time. I just couldn't get enough of his fabulous cock and from the force of each thrust it appeared that he couldn't get enough of my greedy ass either.

'God Milo, your cock feels so good.' I crooned. 'Fuck me some more. Fuck me into next week.'

This of course made him laugh and he began to fuck me in jerky spasms and then laugh some more.

'Ok,' he said. 'Ok. I fuck you into next week and next month or next year if you like.'

And he was as good as his word. He stopped laughing and got down to some serious fucking. In fact he fucked me boneless and made me feel like a piece of erotic ectoplasm He sent me floating through never before visited stratospheres on a ceaseless sea of soaring sensations dotted with stars. They seemed to be sprouting from the ceiling and coming down to meet me as I levitated on his dick to greet them. Then, as I drifted off into sexual oblivion, I heard what I thought was the sound of waves lapping on the shore in the dim distance and shipwrecked sailors crying out for help but it was actually the sound of Milo's balls slapping against my ass mixed with my cries of joy and pain each time he hit my prostrate.

'You like Milo's dick deep inside you,' he said as I rose on a wave of lust and groaned accordingly.

'Yeah,' I breathed long and strong as he made me feel every fabulous fucking inch of it.

'Yeah, I love it.' I wheezed. 'Can't get enough of it. Fuck me harder, fuck me harder ..........'

Soon I could swear I heard my ass sizzle and spit sparks as he ground his way further and further into me. Then there was the horny sound of him grinding his teeth as he spasmed and overflowed my butt banks. I felt my balls seize and my dick erupt and then floods of creamy cum came pouring out of me bringing a primal scream from my throat, the likes of which I'd never heard before.

'Fuck Milo,' I cried. 'Fucking hell. Where did you learn to fuck like that?'

He didn't answer but I don't think it was a language problem this time. Unless of course he wanted to say 'Mine to know, yours to find out,' and I sure as hell intend to find out.

In fact I'm beginning to wonder whether I'll ever find the time to finish that fucking translation.