Getting the Lay of the Land by Joncy

You might almost call this story 'Shirley Levine's Diary' although I think the book had a much longer title. My mom bought it when she was in her twenties so it's probably out of print by now. If you come across it please illuminate me. It's one of the funniest books I've ever read and is about a Jewish girl who moves into a small apartment in New York. Her mother is horrified, as it seems to consist completely of alcoves. She says, "What, so you're leaving home 'cos we got no alcoves!"

My apartment's a bit like that. It's what's fashionably known as a 'mansarda,' a glorified name for what used to be called a plain old attic or at best a mini-loft. It's definitely mini as it was all I could afford. It's got quite a few alcoves too which I put to good use. On the advice of an interior architect I built a shower-cum-bathroom in the alcove where the old-fashioned chimney and fireplace used to be and a kitchen in place of a large storage cupboard. I knocked down the dividing walls and got rid of the ugly doors and got me a super expensive Japanese screen to separate the sleeping quarters from the living quarters. It's going to look great once the carpet's down. That was expensive too as it's made of a special fabric that's cool in summer and warm in winter. I've decided that the rest of the furniture is going to be simple and serviceable. But first I have to get the carpet laid.

As this is a kind of diary, I'm not quite sure whether to write it in the past or present as it happened very recently. Last Friday to be exact. So maybe the past tense would be more appropriate although considering the guy of my dreams has just walked into my life I'm hoping the whole thing will turn out to be future perfect.

Here's how it all evolved. I was anxiously waiting for the carpet to be delivered. They'd promised to deliver it at five o'clock but it was nearly six and I badly needed a shower. I decided to risk it and have a quick one. It's mid-August and there's no air in the place. The air conditioners haven't been installed yet. In fact everything seems to be revolving round the arrival of the carpet. I was sweating profusely and in no state to receive a visitor even if he was only a tradesman. As I stripped down I caught a glimpse of my well-toned body in the wall-to-wall mirror. I know you're not supposed to admire yourself but I must admit I'm very proud of my body especially my ass which drives the girls, and lately quite a few boys, wild. Although I hadn't put it to the test yet. I've been waiting for Mr. Right to come along. Someone to fit right into my nifty little alcove if you know what I mean. I didn't know what he'd look like but I did know I'd recognize him when I saw him.

I was just going to step under the shower when the buzzer went. I wrapped my bathrobe around me and went to get the door. I have one of those new-fangled monitors where you can see who's there before you let anyone in. A youthful voice asked me if I could come down and help him with the carpet. It seems his mate was off sick. The youthful voice had a drop dead gorgeous face attached to it so I didn't complain. I ran down four flights of stairs to let him in. There was no elevator.

He was brown, curly-haired and beautiful, wearing combat shorts and combat boots and a shirt that was more off him than on him. By the time we got the carpet even halfway up the stairs I was having the same problem with my bathrobe and also finding it difficult to keep my dick under control. The potent macho smell of him and the combination of his fabulous torso and tight combat shorts had my senses reeling. His shorts seemed to be bursting at the seams as he proceeded up the stairs ahead of me and I was beginning to pant. Not because I was out of breath but because my 'first footer' was going to be this gorgeous guy.

He kept apologising profusely about the delay and his friend being away from work. It didn't sound very professional to me but I was not in the mood to argue I was so happy to have this handsome hunk all to myself.

"My name's Clive," he said when finally we arrived at the top of the stairs, "Sorry about the delay and all that but once I've got it all stretched out on the floor you'll find the wait was well worth it."

The way he smiled and winked at me had me wondering whether he was talking about the carpet or something else. I wrapped the robe more tightly around me but not before he'd seen enough to arouse his interest. If men's bodies were what he was interested in. And I had a feeling they were.

It was my turn to apologise. "Sorry," I said, "I was about to take a shower."

"Don't let me stop you," he said, "I might even join you later. But after I've laid the carpet."

I supposed he was joking but even so it was a strange thing to say. Not what you would expect a tradesman to say to the master of the house -- even if I was only eighteen and green as a whole field of cabbages. My devoted church-going mother had kept me under wraps for far too long. Still I had no alternative but to step out of my robe and step under the shower. My improvised apartment wasn't built for propriety. Anyway the fact I was in full view of him excited me. Even so this didn't stop me from feeling a little embarrassed. I turned my back on him and gave him the full benefit of my butt as my dick was refusing to behave itself. At one point I dropped the soap and bent down to pick it up without immediately thinking of the consequences.

I heard a sharp intake of breath. "You have a great body," he said. "Mind if I watch?"

"No," I said, turning round to face him and blushing in spite of myself because my dick was beginning to make it abundantly clear that I enjoyed being watched. He didn't hesitate a beat.

"If you like I'll come in and rub you down," he said taking off his shirt, his shorts and his combat boots without waiting for an answer. "We can lay the carpet later. I'm not expected anywhere else."

"Ok," I said, surprised at his and my boldness.

The whole afternoon was beginning to unfold like an adult movie. No pointless questions such as are you gay or straight but pointed remarks and super pointed dicks that indicated we were hot for each other.

"Where would you like me to rub you first?" he said as he stepped in behind me.

His dick brushed up against my butt and sent me into a lather as he lathered up the soap.

"How about here?" he asked as he creamed my butt cheeks. "Does that feel good?"

I sighed my approval.

"Ever had a tongue wash?" he asked.

"Never," I said. In fact for a young good-looking guy I'd had hardly any sexual experience to speak of having been shut up in a closet for eighteen years by my fundamentalist mother.

In fact my new freedom and my new apartment was a golden opportunity for me to start spreading my wings. And hopefully my butt. I felt the tip of his tongue penetrating my butt and licking away the soap as he sought out my sphincter and love button and sent waves of desire raging through me. Then he drew his tongue from my ass and went on a slow, thorough tingling tour of my body.

Up my back, between my shoulder blades, under my armpits, down over my nipples, into my navel, down my dick to my scrotum and then back again until every nerve ending in my body seemed to be crying out 'fuck me.' But first he sucked me. So well I swear at one point I could feel his throat muscles wrapped around my dick.

"Oh, oh," I said. "Oh, oh, oh." I was in ecstasy. It was all so completely new to me.

Soon his fingers went to work on my butt and followed where his tongue had mapped out the way. Then he literally brushed the crack between my butt cheeks with the mushroom head of his cock like a chef brushing pastry. The pastry turned to dough in his hands and he oozed his way into me.

"Oh, oh, oh," I crooned again. And then "OH."

The tip of his dick was inside me and I held my breath. I knew it was going to hurt and I wanted it to hurt but I didn't want him to think I was a wimp. He seemed to be reading my mind and stayed perfectly still like a bird perched on the branch of a tree, undecided where it was going to build its nest. I felt no pain or discomfort. Just the desire to feel him penetrate me further and possess me.

Not a word was spoken between us but every part of me seemed to be listening to the message his dick was sending out, 'Relax and absorb my being into yours.'

I let go and he let fly.

At first it hurt. It hurt like hell. Then my ass began responding to the seismic thrusts he sent pulsing through me and began to sound like an erupting volcano, gurgling, gargling and gushing for more.

After climbing high and taking me to the sky he started withdrawing his dick little by little until he had my butt biting at the bit for fear he was going to stop but fortunately he kept coming back with a vengeance making me scream with the pain and pleasure of it. As thrust followed thrust and his body slammed into mine, I had visions of a great sea rolling in and smashing its way into a cave, the swell being drawn out with the pull of the next one as it thundered against the shores of my being.

"Wow," I cried, as I slithered up the shower wall. "Wow... "

I shivered but not with cold. I had the strange sensation my teeth were chattering with the heat of him. Or maybe I was biting into the tiles. I don't really know because I was on the verge of delirium and everything morphed into one as we came. Suddenly I knew what it was to be one flesh. It was phenomenal. The first fuck I've ever had and I couldn't imagine having a better one.

"Wow," I breathed again as he almost had to scoop me up off the floor. "Wowee."

After that -- all passion spent -- we dried off and had nowhere to go but the carpet. He unrolled it a bit and we lay side by side, the last rays of sunlight dancing on our satisfied bodies.

"That was great," he said. "Let's go out and celebrate. I'll lay the carpet tomorrow."

"Ok," I said willing to do whatever he wanted. I was completely besotted. His devoted butt slut.

Neither of us moved for a long time. We were enjoying the feel of the carpet and each other.

Then he said he had a confession to make. He rolled over and looked deep into my eyes.

Once again I had the feeling I was being pulled inward and that I was already a part of him. It was both awesome and weird. As if we fitted each other just as perfectly as the carpet was supposed to do, although I was no longer in such a hurry for that to happen. I wanted him to take his time.

After exploring my face and my body a little bit more he finally plucked up courage and confessed.

"My mate wasn't really sick," he admitted. "It's just that when I saw you ordering the carpet at the store I kind of made up my mind I wanted to lay you both. I came by myself so I could see the lay of the land so to speak," he added smiling.

"Never mind," I said, nestling my nose in his scrotum and mentally preparing myself to administer my first blowjob. "You can lay us both again tomorrow too."