Did you ever see "The Sleeping Dictionary"? If not go check it out. It's one of Jessica Alba's early movies and it's great. Gave me a lot of ideas. In fact I'm sleeping with a dictionary by my bedside as I'm writing this. You see I'm having difficulty expressing myself. Yes, Joncy finally at a loss for words. I mean how do you describe that horny cleft at the beginning of a guy's butt? You know the one that peeps out over his jeans when he's not wearing any underwear. That sight's definitely got to be at the top of my list of horny visions. I tell you man, it turns me on so much. Sends my dick up several notches. I literally lose my self-control button. I suppose it's your heterosexual equivalent of a lady's plunging neckline. In fact plunging buttline would be a good name for it, don't you think? But you don't find words like that in a dictionary.

Anyway it's a plunging buttline that got me into the double trouble I'm going to tell you about. I was hitchhiking through Germany recently on my way to Sweden and staying in this youth hostel and as you know you don't get much privacy there. This can be both a good and a bad thing. For me of course it's usually a big bonus to have a bevy of bona butts in the communal bedroom. It helped widen my horizons, as I haven't much experience of Germans and Scandinavians and don't speak any language except English. But that presents no problem to me. As you know my main means of communication is body language. Still not all guys respond to that. Not straightaway anyway, so you need a little social chatter to break down international barriers and spur them along. Which reminds me of an old James Stewart movie I saw on Turner Classics. It's called 'The Naked Spur.' Joncy, the naked spur! Sounds good, no? But back to butts and the breaking down thereof.

This guy was from Germany and had the bed next to mine. I'd seen his cute twinky face the night before but it was his butt cleft that twinkled at me now as he sat with his back to me and put on his little white socks. His jeans slipped down and my eyes, and lascivious thoughts, slipped in. Sliding figuratively down his butt crack and thinking of all the delights that awaited me there. He'd smiled at me a couple of times but acted straight so I'd played it cool. But now I was asking myself what kind of a self-respecting straight guy would go around without underwear. Maybe there was some hope on that horny horizon after all. So I got into conversation with him. Seems he was a student of anthropology and was going to spend the morning visiting museums. I decided that was a dead end street and to give him a miss. Of course if I'd had my dictionary with me at the time it would have informed me that anthropology is 'the study of the human race especially its origins, development, customs and beliefs.' And I'm really into that!

So I spent the morning seeing the sights and what butts the town had to offer. Then I moved on. The next hostel I stayed at was more upmarket - and more expensive - but imagine my surprise to run into my German 'friend' again. And under the shower. It was late and there weren't many people around. You know youth hostels are usually frequented by the early nights and up at dawn crowd. Very boring. So we were relatively alone and when the last guy left the shower I was able to admire his huge, luscious cock at my leisure. Don't ask me why the word 'luscious' came so readily to mind. I suppose because it reminded me of the lush, thick undergrowth of a tropical jungle. And he had that as well. Thick undergrowth I mean. As he didn't shave his pubes. It was easily the most appetising dick I'd seen. And you know I've seen quite a few. I mean it wasn't long and rubbery and difficult to swallow like Manuel Martinez but fat and juicy like a German sausage. The hostel had curtained cubicles like the kind you find in the changing rooms of big department stores and I'm happy to say he didn't draw his curtain but stood there rubbing himself down. And I tell you man, a lot of the rubbing went into drying that big fat dick of his.

"You wanna help dry me off," he said catching my gaze.

What an opening gambit. I wanted to wet him down, not dry him off, especially as my mouth was dripping drool, but I followed his lead and satisfied both our needs. I tell you man, I was down there doing lip service in the twinkling of an eye. Wow! Did I get a mouthful! As you know, blowjobs are not really conducive to conversation but we sure as hell communicated. In the end, there wasn't enough room in the tiny cubicle for our sexual gyrations so I took a risk and dragged him by his dick back under the shower where we slathered and slurped -- then joined at the mouth and groin -- and just couldn't get enough of each other. Then we heard somebody coming and had to stop.

"Let's book into a hotel tomorrow," I said.

"Why not right now?" he suggested. Then I knew he wanted me as much as I wanted him.

We gathered our things together and found ourselves a double-room. Now the only problem was the thin walls. I'm a bit of a roaring lion when my jungle juices start to flow so I had to contain myself. Always a difficult thing for Joncy. But we managed. The day I'd seen his butt crack I couldn't wait to get inside him but now I'd seen what else he had to offer and wanted him deep inside me. The deeper the better. Seems the feeling was mutual because as soon as we got into the hotel room his hands and cock made a beeline for my ass and fuck did he sting!! Made my ears buzz too. As soon as we'd ripped each other's clothes off and rubbed each other to a frenzy with the friction produced from our hot bodies, he spread me out on the bed. I tell you man, I was covered in sweat. Felt like a damp sheet stretched out on the ironing board. And his iron was red hot and steaming. I kid you not.

He used my legs as levers and literally had me bent over backwards. Then he pulled my ass cheeks apart and began to tongue fuck me. My little pink ass-rose had never had it so good. He tip-tongued his way round it until he had fairly nipped it in the bud. Or nourished it into full blossom with his mouth juices. Soon I lost all count of place and time and was floating somewhere in outer space as he explored the sensitive parts of my inner chambers. My love buttons all seemed to pop at once and I groaned with primal pleasure. Then he licked the base of my balls as if to distract me for a moment and before I could say condom the tip of his tongue was replaced by the tip of his dick as he positioned it to probe. Then all hell - or heaven - broke loose as he invaded my ass with his long, thick meat log. Maybe battering ram would be a more appropriate and descriptive word.

He pounded into me real fast until my ass fairly gulped with joy. Then the sadistic bastard grabbed me by the sides of my heaving butt and leant back on his heels as he slowly pulled his entire dick out so he could watch my sphincter gape open to swallow more of him. I tell you man, my ass was gasping like a floundering fish about to be devoured by a hungry gannet. If you don't know what a gannet is, Google it up. It'll probably tell you something like it's a large seabird with a wingspan of up to 2 metres and has a capacity to consume enormous quantities of fish. Gannets it seems can also dive from a height of 30 metres and achieve speeds of over 100 miles per hour as they strike the water. And by now I was gannet hungry for his gannet propelled dick. He power fucked me so hard I thought I was going to spread my wings and fly. After an eternity or so of this we both started to groan like bears or buffalo on the rampage as he built up to his climax. When he was close to cumin he pulled his dick out again, so that just the head was still inside my ass, and held it there as the first spurts of semen rushed down his shining shaft like sweet nectar and nourished the soggy soil of my wide-open rosebud. He then slammed into me forcefully a few more times as the final waves of his orgasm washed over him and the last of his seed filled my juicy fuck hole, and his thick thorn put paid to any petals I might have had left. Re-reading this I am reminded that our high school teacher used to tell us not to mix our metaphors but, fuck man, by the time he'd finished ramming me I didn't know whether I was fish or fowl. Animal, vegetable or mineral.

I came too, of course, almost in my own face, as he had me bent so far back now I was literally ass over tip and felt like a friggin concertina as I wheezed to a not so musical climax. Sorry, I know I'm mixing my metaphors again but you know what I mean. Then I collapsed on the bed and slept like another kind of log. My ass was open and ready for more when I woke up but there was no sign of Carl. Just a note to tell me he hadn't wanted to wake me as I looked so sweet and that he'd paid the bill. "Fuck him," I thought, although he hadn't given me the chance to do that. So I picked myself up, wiped myself off and started on my travels again.

Ever seen 'Vertigo'? It's supposed to be Hitchcock's best movie. It's just been digitally remastered. A bit like me when Carl 'logged into my computer.' Anyway it's about this guy who loses this girl then meets somebody like her and louses everything up. That was a bit like me too. When I ran into Carl again. Or thought I did. It was a week later and I was in Copenhagen hungry for a smorrebrod sandwich and some Carlsberg beer. Imagine my surprise when I saw him entering a cafe. I followed him in, but the bastard made out he didn't know me. I was just too taken aback and outraged to say anything and stormed off sans smorrebrod. Later that day, I ran into him again in a museum and this time he couldn't say he didn't recognize me as we'd just met. I decided to play it cool and not brood about it as by now I was not only hungry for a sandwich but wanted some more of his hot succulent sausage meat inside me. Anyway, everyone was speaking in hushed tones in the museum so it obviously wasn't the place to have an argument so I waited for him outside.

He didn't come out for nearly an hour, which really pissed me off as you need the balls of a brass monkey to wait for somebody outside a museum in Denmark. Even in September. I tried to walk alongside him and he tried to keep ahead of me until eventually I told him, "What's with you?" and he told me to quit following him and said that maybe I was confusing him with his brother. People did it all the time. It seemed to me highly unlikely that both brothers would be into museums and anthropology but I decided to humour him for the moment even if he was obviously trying some of that 'straight stuff' on me. I said at least he could have a coffee or something with me so we went into a bar for a drink although it was the 'something' I really wanted.

The long and the short of it is that we got on really well and, despite all his protests, ended up in the same bed. But not on the same day. It took quite a bit of perseverance for me to get his pants down and when I did I saw he'd been telling me the truth. His dick was different. It was a nice dick but it was definitely different. I suppose dicks are like fingerprints - they are never the same. Of course, I felt like telling him that dick differentiation would be a good anthropological subject to study. He could even write a thesis on it. But by that time I was already studying his butt and couldn't wait to burst his bubble. That took quite a bit of perseverance too but Joncy's powers of persuasion finally prevailed as they usually do. Especially when he really wants something and I really wanted digital mastery of Erik's bubble butt. Yes, his name was Erik. He finally introduced himself. Just before I introduced his butt to my dick. And, believe you me, we were both very pleased to meet each other.

The preliminaries were nice too. As soon as I got him to myself, and under the same roof, I took his shirt out of his jeans and pulled it over his head. His armpits were pleasantly hairy and also warm and moist. They had a musky scent about them, which made me horny as hell. I kissed and tongued them as I removed his shirt. He plainly must have enjoyed this as he held his arms up wanting me to continue. As I did so, I rubbed his round firm ass squeezing it and massaging it. He let out a moan and I knew he was hot and ready. I quickly un-laced the front of his shorts with one hand and tore open the Velcro with the other, releasing his throbbing twinkhood into the air. At the same time I explored the cave of his mouth with my tongue and he returned the favour with similar intensity.

One thing led to another, as it always does, and soon my wet tongue was sliding out of his mouth and slithering under his chin on its stealthy way to his perky, jerky nipples. I drove him crazy with the tip of my tongue and the nip of my teeth, all the while probing his tight little ass with my index finger and massaging his prostate until he was past redemption. The only way now was onwards and upwards. He wrapped his legs around me and I worked my dick into him until he was sitting on me and I was fucking him in mid-air. It was wild and it was wonderful. Then, just before my legs - and dick - began to buckle under the strain, I got this tremendous urge to bury my face in his butt and literally eat his ass. I'd never done that to anybody and nobody had done it to me, and certainly not to Erik, so it was a first for both of us.

I managed to manoeuvre him over to the bed and flip him over like a flapjack.

"Get on your knees!" I ordered. "I'm going to eat your ass."

He obeyed like a dog obeys its master and got himself into the doggy position. Actually, Erik was little more than a puppy and his beautiful bubble butt was putty in my hands, but talking dirty to him, and treating him like shit, really turned me on. There was something in his virginal innocence that brought out the beast in me and I was bent on straightening out this straight little brother. I was determined to turn him into a butt slut and have him licking at my hand and dick, begging for more. Make him feel how Carl had made me feel - delirious with lust.

I drove my dick into his hot little ass like a manual worker drives his pneumatic drill into a concrete pavement. I made him scream with pain, but then with pleasure. Made him first grind his teeth and then grind himself against me until he almost jerked me off with his butt cheeks and made us both shoot higher and further than either of us had ever shot before.

I've topped and tailed him more times than I can remember since then and in between those times a terrible tenderness has grown between us. Must be very anthropological. You might say it's a kind of mixture of cultures. And of course jizz. One of the high spots was when he came in my mouth and I kissed him and he liked the taste of his own cum. So then we tried it the other way round. He liked that too. It was at moments like these that I knew he had crossed the great divide and was off the straight and narrow path ready for more adventure. We're in Sweden together at the moment and I think we're going to be together for a long time. You see I'm head over heels in love with him. Eventually, he's supposed to meet up with his brother. He's sworn me to secrecy. Made me promise I won't let on what happened between us. He's scared to death his brother will find out.

I'm more than a little scared to death myself. I love Erik but my ass still cries out for Carl.

It's what my dictionary defines as a dilemma. So now you know why I'm in double trouble.