Consolation by Claye Canterwall

They were the bluest eyes I had ever seen. Deep. Endless. When he wasn't looking at me, I was constantly losing myself in them. I had heard others say the same thing.

"You're looking at me again."

"I can't help it."

"You can."

"Okay, I'll try."

"The eyes?"

"The eyes."

"What about the scars?"

"I told you. I don't see the scars, only the eyes."

"Yeah, right. Besides, I'm a guy. Guys don't look at other guys' eyes."

"They do when they look like yours."

Tommy was my sister's stepson. He was about ten years younger than me, and about forty years more mature. We had been close since my sister married his dad, when he was about 18, five years ago. When he was 15, Tommy had been fooling around in the garage and knocked a jar of sulfuric acid off a shelf. He tried to catch it before it hit the floor, he didn't make it, and, when it hit, it broke and the acid splattered. He was lucky, really. His eyes weren't touched. But, there had been burns...on his face, arms and hands...ugly burns, which, in turn, left ugly scars, on his face and on his soul. Tommy had become a recluse. He refused to go out. Guilt for leaving the acid there had turned his father, who already drank too much, into an alcoholic, and my sister was beside herself trying to take care of both of them and her other two kids, all at the same time I had moved to Logan to try to help out. I don't know that I was helping, but it made me feel better about things to be there. The thing of it was that Tommy was still beautiful. He had this inner beauty thing that shone right through those scars. After about one minute of being around him, you didn't see them anymore. But, Tommy wouldn't believe that. When he looked in the mirror, he saw only scars, ugly, ugly scars.

"You wanta catch a movie, Tommy?"

"Nah, I think I'll read."

"You can read? And just what would someone like you be reading?"

"WAR AND PEACE if you must know."

"WAR AND PEACE! You're kidding, right?"

"Yeah, I'm kidding. HARRY POTTER."

"Really? You like HARRY POTTER?"

"Yes, I like HARRY POTTER. You got a problem with that?"

"No. Just surprised that's all."

"I got THE CAT IN THE HAT in the back, if you'd like to join me."

"Very funny, asshole."

He laughed and picked up his book. I laughed, too, and then gently laid my head down on a nice soft pillow. Reading made me sleepy, even if someone else was doing it.

I must have been asleep, when Tommy said, "Jack..."

"Yeah, Tommy?"

"You asleep?"

"Not anymore."

"I can't do this."

I looked up from my pillow and tears were running down Tommy's cheeks.

"Do what, Tommy?"

"Live like this. It hurts too bad."

"I know it does, Tommy."

"No you don't. You don't know at all."

"Okay, I don't. But, I want to. I try to. Every day I try to understand what it must feel like to be you."

"I know you do, but you can't. No one can."

"Come over here."

"No, I don't think so. I'm not some kind of baby."

"It's okay, Tommy."

"I know, but no. I can't. You'll wanta hug me and stuff and..."

"I promise. No hugging."

"Okay, then. All right."

And he just got up and came over and sat down beside me. Then, he put his head on my shoulder and started to cry.

"Hey, I thought you said no hugging."

"This is not a hug."

I put my arm around him.

"Now it's a hug."

"Oh, shut up."

And with that, he just let go. I had never seen anyone cry like that, and I have to confess that at some point, I joined him. All that pain coming out all at once. I knew it was important for him to cry it out, but the pain was almost unbearable. After, about fifteen minutes, it was all over. Tommy picked himself up and looked at me, and said:

"Well, I think I feel better now. I'll be getting back to my book. You been crying too, Uncle Jack?"

"Yes, I've been crying, too. I happen to love you, you know. You want to talk about it?"

"Nope. I don't think discussion will be necessary. I'll just get back to my book now."

"You think, you could give me one more hug? I'm the one who needs it now."

And so he did. He dropped back down on the sofa and hugged me for all he was worth. We both needed some closure, and this was the only way to get it. It was then that I looked down again into those deep blue eyes, moist now with what was left of their tears. I couldn't help myself, I pulled him slowly up to my level and kissed him... deeply I didn't even think about it. I just kissed him.

I expected Tommy to pull away, and to have to try to come up with some sort of viable explanation...for both of us. But there would be none of that. He didn't pull away at all, but responded in kind. It was a feeling I had never had before, electric, and loving...chills. Not only that, my balls began to churn. What was happening to me? I wasn't gay. I wasn't. But, I couldn't stop this. It was then that I felt Tommy's hand on my genitals, rubbing me gently, but firmly. I had no choice. I pushed myself into this hand and began gyrating slowly. Then he took my hand and put it, in turn, on his.

"Hey, Uncle Jack, this okay? It's not incest is it?"

"No, Tommy it's not incest. We ain't related. But, I'm not sure it's okay either."

"It feels okay?"

"Oh yeah, it feels okay. Hey, Tommy?"

"Yeah?"

"You gay?"

"Uh, yeah. I think so. Guess I never mentioned that, huh?"

"No, guess you didn't."

"You gay, Uncle Jack?"

"Well, not 'till about, oh, a minute or so ago. Where you headed with this, Tommy?"

"Hadn't thought about it really."

"Well, I'm thinking about it really, and we're going to stop doing it right now, okay?"

"Okay."

And we both sat up. My introduction to gay had been quite eye opening... and dick hardening. And, I was quite willing to stop this nonsense, even though parts of me were still holding out for more.

"What's the matter, Uncle Jack, you didn't like it?"

"Oh, I liked it, and that's what's the matter. And you're my nephew for God's sake."

"Not really."

"Well, close enough to make this very confusing on several levels.""You want to go keep going?"

"Yes, but I'm not going to."

"Hold me?"

"Okay, but only if you promise not to..."

"I promise."

At the moment I agreed to hold him, I knew and he knew that I had agreed to much more than that. I didn't know where all this would end, but I knew that, at this point, I had no power to stop it. Tommy laid his head back on my shoulder, and I closed my eyes and rested my head on his. It wasn't long before I felt my zipper being pulled down. I instinctively reached to stop it. Then, a loving hand took mine and placed it gently on my stomach.

The release of pressure was amazing. I can't even describe the first touch of his fingers on my penis, and that was through the cloth of my underwear. I felt a groan welling up from somewhere deep inside me and coming out of my mouth. Tommy laughed.

"Asshole."

"It was funny. Here, I got something for you."

He took my hand and rested it on his naked hard on.

"Holy shit, Tommy!"

"Feel good?"

"Feels wonderful."

"Yeah, it does."

"Squeeze."

"What?"

"Squeeze it."

"Like this?"

"Yeah, like that."

And, then, it was his turn to groan. Tommy unfastened my pants and pulled my pants and my underwear down around my knees. I did the same to his. Then, we just laid there for a while, enjoying the wonderful feelings of, well, feeling. I had never felt anything like it, and I didn't want it to stop.

It was then that I felt something that almost sent me over the edge. Tommy's mouth was on the head of my penis.

"Tommy, what the hell..."

"Shhhhhhh, Jackie, it just gets better from here on."

Tommy was giving me a blowjob. Now, I had had blowjobs from girls, but nothing like this. The things he did with a mouth and a tongue and a set of teeth.... yes, teeth... were not to be believed. All I could do was lay there, put my hands on the top of his head, and moan. Oh, my god. Oh, my god. Oh, my god.

"Now it's your turn."

"Nope. Don't think so. I'll go so far, but not that far."

"Please."

"No."

"Oh, please."

It was the blue eyes. They were pleading. What could I do? How bad could it be?

"Oh, all right."

"Great."

"What do I do?"

"It's pretty simple, really. You put my dick in your mouth, and suck. End of instruction."

And, so I did. Putting his dick in my mouth was the hard part. Then, I liked it. Then, I loved it. Then, I must have been pretty good at it, because he started squirming and groaning and telling me how good I was at it. I couldn't believe how much I had not wanted to do it, and, now, how much I wanted to do it forever.

"Okay, you have to stop now, you're going to suck it off."

"Ah, shucks."

"I mean it. We have to save some for later."

"What now?"

Tommy just laughed.

"Oh no you don't. Not that, you little weasel. Nope. This is where I stop."

"I know it is. I wouldn't suggest that we do that. Not tonight anyway. But, we do have to finish. I'm going to get you off now. Get ready for the best orgasm you ever had. Raise your knees up."

"What?"

"Raise your knees up."

"Like this?"

"Yeah, just like that. Now I'm gonna..."

And with that, he began sucking on my balls. Holy shit that felt good. He sucked each one and took each of them into his mouth. Then he lifted them up and licked me underneath. I thought I was going to die. Then he took my dick in his hand and started to jack me off, while he kept licking. The feeling that was in my balls was unbelievable and getting better and better and stronger and stronger at the same time. I started groaning and writhing and groaning and writhing. He gripped me tighter, almost as though he knew exactly what I was feeling, and his hand started moving faster and faster as his tongue worked under my balls, with a wizard's magic. Even though I was trying as hard as I could to hold out, I knew I couldn't last much longer. Finally I could hold out no more and I heard someone yelling:

"Yes, right there. Right there. Don't stop. Don't stop. Don't stop. Oh, my god. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

I came all over my chest and stomach. It seemed like I came for hours. It just wouldn't stop. I was exhausted.

"Holy shit."

"Uh, Jackie."

"What?"

"I know you want to lay there and just enjoy the feeling forever, but it's, uh, my turn."

"Oh, shit. Right. What do you want me to do?"

"This won't take long. Just suck me again for a little bit, and play with me just right under my balls. Then, when I say, 'now', take your mouth off my dick quickly and keep playing with my balls."

I had my instructions, and I was going in. I started sucking, which I now enjoyed more than I can say, and started playing with his more than ample balls. God, I loved the way those balls felt in my hands. He let me know gently with his hand, just how fast I should be sucking up and down his shaft, causing me to go faster and faster up and down, as his breath grew more and more shallow. Suddenly he yelled, "Now!", pulling my head off his dick and starting to beat it fast and hard, while I continued playing with his balls. I was mesmerized as a sound that was a combination of pain and pleasure started low from deep in the back of his throat and grew louder and louder until beautiful white cum started spurting from his dick all over his stomach and chest. One spray even hit him on the cheek. I know it sounds impossible, but I enjoyed his ejaculation almost more than I enjoyed my own. As he finished, he reached up and pulled me down on top of him, our dicks rubbing together and your lips locked in an unbelievable last kiss. Then we fell apart, attempting to regain our breath. It was a while before I could even speak again.

I was to console him many times after that.